Headgear

I have a confession. I am not an athlete. I know this comes as a surprise to 89% of the people reading this, but it is the honest to goodness truth. I have truly tried being a poser in numerous sports.

Softball being the first. It was hot, and I spent more time playing in the dirt than listening to my coach who just happened to be my best friend on the team's dad. He was serious business and we were going to ANNIHILATE the other seven year old girls teams. I was terrified. My only claim to fame is that I hit a grand slam once. But then it took me 13 minutes to run around all the bases. By the time I was done my little team had totally forgot why I was speedwalking, and had resorted to playing with eachother's hair and drinking pink gatorade.

Ballet, Tap, and Gymnastics were my next victims. I was awkwardly tall for my age and that was certainly not to my advantage. The other little girls were petite and dainty and cried when the teacher looked at them. I was lanky and had a frizzy ginger fro that nobody knew what to do with. I giggled and overexaggerated all the the dance moves the ENTIRE time. It starts young, y'all. All the other little girls wore little black leotards. I wore a pale pink leotard that made me look like I wasn't wearing one at all. We have a home video of dance class. All the other girls are dancing gracefully and unified with the teacher and I'm standing in the back smiling, waving, and posing for the video camera. It starts young, y'all.

Basketball was the sport I was convinced I had a future in. Basketball is the sport I'm convinced I have a future in. That's a joke for those of you who have never seen me run. Or just seen me in general. I played upward and that of course made me legit. I made 3 baskets my whole 4 year grind of basketball playing. I did however get hit in the face with the ball 5 times, tripped countless times, elbowed in the eyesocket, scratched, yelled at, you name it. I came out of games looking like I had been trapped in an alley with a cougar. Another perk about my basketball years is that those were the years my orthodontist decided to attack my gap tooth. I would literally practice basketball in my driveway wearing my headgear. For those of you who don't know what headgear is, google it. That actually has nothing to do with playing basketball, but it's a funny mind picture. You're welcome.

The last, but certainly not least was my valiant attempt at golfing. Now, I went to a new highschool and naturally we got to be involved in whatever our little hearts desired. My logic in higschool worked like this. "P.E. is for unathletic losers. Ope, I have a brilliant idea. I'm going to play golf for my P.E. because I've done so well in all the other sports i've participated in." I soon realized that P.E. was for normal people, and golf was for cray cray gingers who thought they knew all the answers. But grace abounds and playing golf was the best decision I ever made. Ask anyone who golfed with me. I missed the ball over and over. My first golf practice I tried to Tee-up the ball in the fairway. For those of you thinking, "I had no idea you weren't allowed to do that" I'm right there with you. I was ignant and I basked in it. I would ugly laugh, loudly, and yell at my ball to go further. I was that girl on the golf course. At one point a group of old men simultaneously asked me to be quiet. I got so good that my coach promoted me to snack cart driver. It required no golfing and a whole lot of eating and socializing. I'm a master at both of the latter.

The Lord has refined me so much through the things I am terrible at. Trust me, the things i'm bad at are not solely sports. They include actively listening, singing on pitch, patience, and a laundry list of other things. They are things I used to cringe at and think of as ugly. They stayed in the cave of my brain, the place I never took anyone, especially the Lord. He couldn't see me like that. It was gross and embarrassing. I think the older I get the more He puts me in situations where my weaknesses are on full display. "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast more all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ( 2 Cor 12:9) Those words are like candy when I've been eating nothing but saltines. A snowcone in the desert. An open field when I've been in a maze. I have fretted and acted like an absolute ninny in the process of trying to get things right. Trying to cast of my weakness like last year's shoes. I think i'm learning to wear my weakness openly and honestly because only there will we find God's grace and power. When I'm weak I get to humbly point to Him and my need for His power. There's no room for my own strivings and assumed strength. It's an opportunity and a blessing to put my weakness out there like a banner. It's an opportunity I can't pass up anymore.