Frogs and Praying

This week was confirmation, as if I needed it, that I for sure don't want to go to hell. The state of Texas experience some of it's hottest weather on record AKA it was 105 at midnight and 117 by noon. Whilst sitting on a lifeguard stand in the middle of the day my only thought was, "This aint right. Lord please bring the rapture or a snowstorm. Right now preferably." Coming off of week 10 I'm exhausted and more tan than a ginger ever should be. I don't know if It was too much sun or not enough sleep but I was reading through my journal and found some dramatacisms that should probably be shared with the class (aka whoever is reading this).

Tuesday August 2nd

"Morgan.- don't forget that above all else the Lord loves you. Also don't forget during your camper call when you and those two little girls were looking for frogs and you couldn't find and for 20 minutes. Naturally, since you guys couldn't find any frogs they wanted to go on that boat. Let's be honest, that's the last thing you wanted to do. That made you feels so selfish and it was as if you could hear everyone at camp saying in unison, "Now Morgan. It's not about you. Get on that boat." As you were walking to the boat you prayed, "Lord. I'm so tired and hot. Please help these babies find some frogs." Then you knelt down and prayed with them for frogs and sure enough you found 3- one for each of you. And it was almost as if the LORD Himself was saying "let me decide who's selfish or not". And in that moment you suddenly understood mercy."

Friday August 5

"Remember when you were with Maggie and you had that convo about sincerity and competition and how when asked to be "eager to serve" it makes the performer come out in you in full force. And if service is love but your service is out of competition to be first in hopes to not look like the "lazy, non eager counselor with no work ethic" than it is not service or love- it's a show. And suddenly that show begins to feel like truth and I get confused about true love. The Lord's love isn't a show. It's behind the scenes. It's whispered and in the background. It's the foundation not the add on. And then we talked about sincerity and how sometimes it's not "my pleasure" to do the things I do because I'm a sinner and not the Perfect One. I can't decide which is worse. Being insincere about things being my pleasure and acting like I'm 100% selfless 100% of the time or being the one who acknowledges that sometimes it's not my pleasure to serve or love because the Lord is working my selfish flesh out of me still. And then family walked up and asked us, "What happens when things aren't your pleasure anymore. What's your prayer?" and the irony of that question and timing stopped you in your tracks. And you thought to yourself, "If I were being honest things are hardly ever my pleasure but it's always the Lords JOY to serve and love us. If I identify myself with Him than it is my pleasure too even when it's not." And then the family stopped and prayed for us right then and there. Eventhough it was bedtime and 107 degrees and we were sweating bullets . They prayed that the LORD would be our focus and our joy and our service. And it was if the Lord Himself said, "Yes. It's okay to be human. Your flesh isn't what is being judged anymore. It's me within you and I'm perfect. Claim me. Always claim my perfection." Morgan. Remember that when you have those guilt ridden thoughts about your insincerity or service. You're claiming the Lord's joy of loving and serving His children."

Yes. Yes. Yes. I talk to myself in my journal. Yes the Lord is doing a mighty work this summer. Yes I have been guilt ridden about being insincere this week. Thank goodness we serve a God who is patient with my school girl tendencies. This week at camp i'm with 9 little ones under the age of 2. Start praying now. My time is short to write this and I dislike that alot. LOVE LOVE YOU ALL. Can't wait to get back and see each one of you!