A Broken Record

Seven days. 42 hours of sleep (you do the math). Grossly ridiculous amounts of sweating. A 2 lb bag of skittles. 6 little girls. Lots of prayers. 4 showers (you do the math). 23 sweet bible stories. Lots of vitamin D. Too much coffee. One fantastically witty game of apples to apples. 100,000 calories (This could be what one would consider an exaggeration. My school girlism strikes again). At least 7 shades of tan (which is a feat for this ginger). And with that, week 6 is over.

I don't even know where to begin.

I should probably start exactly one year ago. A) Never fear, this will be brief. B) Maybe not so brief C) I can almost guarantee you this will be long-winded.

Put on your excited pants. We're go back in time.

Exactly one year ago today I finished my first week ever working at camp. I had been a counselor to nine energetic, chaotic, frazzled, hilarious 8 and 9 year olds. We ran around like chickens with our heads cut off the entire week. We discussed the drama of their lives aka if their parents would be buying them icecream after they got picked up. We sang countless disney songs. I made them put sunscreen on and wear their tshirts over their bathing suits around the boys so there were times when they disliked me. By the end of the week I was completely overwhelmed by my inability to do anything right in my brain.

I was too much of a school girl for this. I wanted to jump in my car and drive away. I couldn't handle the chaos. I kept getting in trouble like a disobedient 4 year old in big church. I wanted to run. I wanted to run fast.

In the course of 6 days I had been late, I overslept not one, but two mornings, my shorts fell off when I was getting out of the pool (gasp!), I momentarily lost one of my campers, at any point of the day I had atleast 3 little children latched onto me, I had gotten sore dancing for an hour and could hardly move the next day, I sat on a fire ant hill, and I accidentally forgot to take my kids to archery. How does someone do that you ask? Beats me. Needless to say I was asked nicely to "please come in 2 hours early this weekend". Gladly. I remember thinking to myself "Oh my goodness gracious. Where am I? I tired. I hungry. I need my mommy." Lack of sleep and sheer chaos apparently turns you into a incoherent caveman. Noted.

I would like to think that time in my life was characterized by a sophomore-in-college immaturity and that I've grown incredibly mature and selfless and efficient since then. Then I find myself wearing a chicken costume for 3 hours and remember that I'm still a school girl.

This week I was positive they wouldn't want me to council those same girls. Surely they didn't like me. I had done a horrible job. I was... I am still embarrassed about it. Honestly I went the rest of last summer acting like that first week hadn't happened.

Last Saturday I was informed I would be doing EXACTLY what I did this time last year. I would be chasing around the same little girls. I would be doing the same activities. I was praying I would not be the same panicked ninny I was last summer.

This week was redemptive in every way possible. It was such a cool thing to be in these girls lives a year later. To see their growth. To answer their questions. To be pummeled and bear hugged by 6 preshy little beauties. To be able to hit the ground running immediately and not have to wait for the awkward "I need to impress you so you think I'm cool" stage to be over. We made it to archery AND stayed relatively organized which was ridiculously enough a huge feat. I have prayed and prayed for consistency and stability in my life. That I would find it in Christ. That my faith wouldn't be characterized by an on again off again roller coaster ride but rather a steady walk.

I think I'm scared to repeat situations that I did not perform well in the first time. Scratch that. I know I'm scared to repeat situations that I did not perform well in the first time. Who wants to chance failing twice? Not this girl. I think knowing the redemptive power of Christ takes being willing to jump back into situations we don't like over and over. The Lord is always willing to give me a second chance at things but rarely am I willing to jump in. I would much rather avoid the situation because of fear of failure rather than let it be redeemed.

Thank the Lord grace abounds and sometimes He doesn't give me the choice. Lord, please be a broken record for me.

This week I'm on work crew which means minimal camper interaction (the only bummer), lots of serving, a night off, and a mind nap. Praise Him for He is good!